dup dap dup dap

He replied my status!!!!


Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!!!!

Elegantly stress

2009
Bangun pagi
bancuh nescafe
turn on laptop
jalan kaki pegi kelas
dalam perjalanan balik beli COKE
singgah tasik
5minit...
sambung perjalanan balik rumah
kul 6 turun main netball or basketball
malam lepas maghrib sendirian dalam bilik
nescafe lagi
menelaah sambil ditemani air mata

2012
Bangun tidur
bancuh nescafe
turn on laptop
switch on TV
sampai masa, start enjin keta
pegi keje
gelak2, maki2, senyum2 dan mengeluh
sampai masa, start enjin keta
pulang ke rumah
tengok KLCC yang indah
tp dlm hati sudah gundah gulana
tidur dalam linangan air mata

The Heart is Hurting

not until broke up with your love...

but when people question where your salary goes to..

Kami bertemu Janji Lagi

Dia datang semalam
tp datang lepas aku snooze alarm on 6.00 am
dan yes, aku terlepas subuh sebab terlelap balik

Dia datang
senyum, peluk dan renung dalam-dalam mata aku
kami berbicara
kami tersenyum

dan akhirnya aku menangis sendirian!!!

Al-Fatihah, Ayah!

6years later...

i found your contact number
i sent u sms
u replied

FB friend requested
accepted

keep silent
till weeks past

it's hurting!

New month, New Life

31 May 2012: I had left VADS. Might be forever!

04 Jun 2012 : I start my journey with Astro!

This's going my pathway, perhaps :)

Bye Bye April

"Bulan April adalah bulan dimana hormon2 gembira rancak dihasilkan"

Itu kata Nabil dalam Sinar.fm

Bagi aku.. April adalah bulan yang paling ditunggu berbanding 11 bulan lain dalam setahun
kerana...
 pada bulan ini umur akan bertambah

Tapi...

Kenapa seperti April 2012 seperti mengecewakan?

Muncul sahaja April
kawan2 sibok duk buat preparation untuk exam SPA

Dalam bulan April jugak
AKu dah gi 2 interview
tapi...
Dua2 failed!

Penghujung April tiba
Salah seorang best friend msg tanya dapat tak exam PTD
Terus aku semangat call Ma tanya surat ada sampai x?
Ma kata tak de..

"mungkin buke rezeki kak mah kot.."

Itu kata2 ma..


Mungkin!

Dan aku mula terdetik untuk membenci April untuk tahun2 hadapan

:(

Interview

Sejak dua menjak ni, beria-ia orang-orang Abg Najib duk panggil kawan-kawan aku gi ujian bertulis, ujian fizikal, temuduga. Aku berbinti Abdul Razak kot, tapi nape Abg Najib tak panggil-panggil ni? Sebab aku plan tak nak gi mengundi ke apa?

Haish.. Tak boleh jadi ni.

Dalam bulan ni gak, aku dah pegi 2 tempat untuk interview; DataCom dan Astro.
Tapi dua-dua tak nak aku.

Badi apakah yang melekat?

PANG!

Badi kepala hotak ko!
Ni semua rezeki kot.

Sembuh fasa #2

"Ma.. Xsir mari KL ko? Kak Mah rindu ko ma."



Ma terus call Along ngan Abe tanya samada aku ada masalah ke x

Along cakap x de

Abe kata masalah keje

The truth is

Kak Mah pun xtau masalah apa

Yang pasti Kak Mah sangat2 down

Sampai effect kesihatan diri

Kejap makan banyak

Kejap x makan langsung

Tido x lena

Kadang2 ditemani air mata

Yg paling terasa bila hanya beberapa malam sahaja sempat mengadu pada yang Esa.

Hati dan firasat ibu biasanya 99% benar

Ma...

Kerisauan Ma ada asasnya

tapi Kak Mah x mampu untuk mengadu

Restui Kak Mah

Semoga dengan restu itu

Kak Mah akan terus berdiri menghadapi duniawi

#5

Sekarang ni aku ada konflik dalaman dengan TL baru.
Masih menjadi tanda tanya kenapa dia memilih aku untuk masuk group dia
Ramai cakap sebab performance aku bagus
(haptuih) Hahhaha

Tapi seriusly macam tak puah hati
Dah la perangai macam bajet bagus
Cukup la 2 adik dia je yang layan dia
Aku mmg serabut tengok orang bodek2 ni
Macam HARAM!

Dah la buat houserule macam kejadah
Salah tu sket.. BAYAR
Salah ni sket.. BAYAR
Then klo dia boring, buat OUTING

Apa? Ingat orang lain kaya macam dia dan adik2 dia ke?
Weh.. pikir la..
setiap orang ada komitmen masing2
setakat gaji x sampai 2K tu
mana la aku nak ada simpanan klo asyik derma kat kau je
Dah la DBKL pun suka bagi aku kad undangan!

Argh.. Makin hari makin stress
Tapi terpaksa gak maniskan muka yang dah diabetes ni



Monolog: Sampai bila agaknya hidup nak macam ni kan? kerja macam takde satu pun yang menyakinkan hidup. Duit asyik tak cukup. Hati seringkali disakiti.
Hanya Allah yang tau perancangan hidupku.. Dan aku akan berusaha meminta yang terbaik daripadanya. AMin~

Sembuh fasa #1

Kebahagiaan milik setiap insan..

Kita hanya perlu cara yang betul untuk mendapatkannya

usah dengki melihat insan di sekeliling semakin bahagia

sebaliknya berdoa dan berusahalah untuk peroleh kebahagiaan juga..

The scar is there

(^.^)

GIRLS are like a phone . they love to be HOLD , to be TALK , but , if you press the wrong number , you'll be disconnected

... I am not longer a girl but u had press the wrong number!

Doesn't matter if i want to close this heart for a MEN right?

#4

Ist time I got asked by customer, i wonder why?

Is my English is too bad?
Or.. Might be my English not like particular Malaysian?


When 2nd time asked with same question,,,
I desperately want to know the answer!

Cust: Are you Malaysian?
Me: Yaa. But, may I know why U ask me such question, Dr Charles?
Cust: Hahaha.. U sounds like Philippine.
Me: (^.-) Seriously? Hahaha..
Cust: Or Sabahan or Sarawakian...
Me: ???????


I will asked for 101% discount if I found ur clinic doc! :)

SOmething inside

I'm not in the mood to write but i want to make a record here.

I really felt uneasy right now!

i'm officially using my brother's car
so, at the same time he got no car to bring his wife out!

Our plan to go to Rawang was suddenly cancelled when my Abang came and ask whether it's possible if go by myself?

I just say "YES" but the truth is i was still in front of TV right now.

Ya Allah... Why i felt something inside?
Please help me Ya Allah!
I do not have enough money to buy a car.
I do not believe i can survive if i rent the room too.

I want to cry! And of course the tears already ran out from the dark brown eyes!

#3

Thing that I really hate right now is;





When I easily did not perform solat.
Today was the worse when the entire plaza ran out of water.
And I hate the moment!

#2

Hari berganti hari...
Keselesaan di Vads semakin dirasa.
Alhamdulillah...
Syukur aku diberi peluang untuk merasai keselesaan ini.

Tapi perangai "loqlaq" tu masih ada.
Lepas je jam 12 am,
otak dan mulut kelihatan seperti sudah tidak serasi bersama.
&&oksigen tak cukup kot&&

Masalah paling kritikal adalah bila aku lupa bahasa apa yang digunakan oleh customer lepas letak "hold mode"


boloq pilihan:
1) miss, can i get ur IC address? (instead of IC Number)

#1

Today (yesterday actually) was my 1st day hit the floor as a Streamyx Customer Service Representative.

I got a very sweet-helpful-helpful Team Leader.
Thanks Allah..

But...

I got a fucking-bullshit customer at 12.30 am!

&&Remark&&
dia boleh maki cakap aku bodoh, babi dan bongok

Actually i do maki him back, but during mute call.

As i agree to jump into this kind of world, i have to prepare myself; Mind and physical also the bloody tears to "meet" those kind of Bodoh-Sombong-Bajet-Pandai customer.

Allah, please give me strength to face this situation :(

Dear,

I am glad i had the opportunity to get know you.
i always think that you did not aware of myself
but when the time I really2 need someone,
you show yourself.

I miss your company. I miss our moment at Putrajaya yesterday.
Even though you stress enough, but you still hear to my problem.
Thanks a lot!

Big Failure

I do not even expect that i will splendidly failed the OJA!
BINGO!

however, i'm going to sit for second OJA tomorrow.

"Air mata saya sudah tidak mampu dibendung lagi.
selebat hujan yang melimpahi bandar Kuala Lumpur petang tadi."

The day had passed by

The thing that i fear most during this training session was OJA.
also known as On Job Assessment!

When u r doing OJA, means u r Live without buddy beside u.
It was amazing because this is the time u have to prove urself!

I was a little bit shake with my capability in handling customer regarding to the Streamyx problem at first.
But, as time flew by....
I felt nothing.
Even when i make a BIG mistake.
Muahahaha~

I said to myself;
"Kalu ado rezeki, ado la"

Seriously.. It was tired pushing urself do the thing that u are forced to do!

Hidup Tak Selalunya Indah

Perjalanan hidup sebagai trainee di VADs semakin hampir ke penghujungnya.

Isnin ini akan menjadi penentu bagi segalanya.

Tapi aku seperti merasakan Isnin adalah hari terakhir aku di VADS.

Aku pun hairan sejak bila Rahimah Abdul Razak ni pandai berputus asa.

Haish..

Mungkin sejak jadi tua kot.

Suka atau duka,

hidup mesti diteruskan...

semoga lelehan air mata akan menjanjikan yang terbaik buat aku.

Amin~

Last Battle

The schedule haven't out yet. So i do not when is my OJA test should be!
Last Friday was my first time on air. LIVE!
Fear was my best friend at that time.
Everyone should felt the fear when doing new thing right?

I had to face various type of customer.
One thing in my mind;
"Is people had to broke their telephone set, streamyx, etc everyday?"

Haiyya!

QA department had taped our call on that day.
My luck was good on that day.
QA had taped one of my best call!
That's mean my result mus be awesome!
Yes it was!

"Unfair for the others, kan?" :P

Past is past.
What i really need now is the strength for next week.
I have another 2 days of reverse buddy!
And the rest must be independent!
Duduk dengan handset sendiri!

I pray for my splendid action!!!

New thing to remember!

VADS taught new thing about life to me today.

Behave of myself and be careful with people around.
"Saya tak berkira dengan orang yang tak berkira dengan saya"
But... not till u climb on my head!

I know i was simple melatah.. But all happened when those things were about my name, my pride, my family and my performance!

Kak Yas was right! Just ignore them and focus on what we want.
The AIM!

I am praying for my success! Syukur I was passed splendidly in QA test. 96.33%!
I am hoping for the same thing in OJA soon. very very soon!
The tsunami part was coming!
I am shivering!!!!


I wish i will do my best!

Daughter's feeling

I always feel uneasy since graduated.
Means since 2010.
I used lots of family's money.
Money to ensure my stomach full.
Money to pay the handsome, DBV.

I always make them worry.
Especially when i resign.
I was jobless for almost 3 month!
Hati ibu mana yang tak sedih tengok anak macam ni kan?

All above, i make chaos in the family actually.

Waiting for Monday

2 things will happen on this coming monday actually.

1) I have to face last two assessment before i hit the floor (if i pass the test)
The monday's assessment is QA.
It's the combination of the system and soft skill actually.
I failed the pre test!!! all of us actually. Muahahaha

2) I hoping for GAJI on this Monday!
I'm really hoping for that! :)

wishlist

1. shawls
2. handbag
3. jeans
4. long sleeve t shirt
5. blouse
6. baju kurung
7. personal toiletries; contact lens, perfume, facial cleanser, etc
   
8. BB bold 3
9. I pad
10. CAR

Berapa banyak gaji sebulan sampai nak benda-benda macam ni weh? Adoyai!

Conclusion, i need a sporting-lots of money-boyfriend! Muahahah~

Antara Garisan

Aku letakkan 1 Feb 2012 sebagai titik untuk aku masuk fasa baru dalam hidupku.
Aku amat-amat mengharapkan surat confirmation dari TM selepas tarikh tu.
Sebab hanya dengan surat tu saja aku boleh realisasikan semua impian yang aku rencanakan.

Lepas 1 Feb gak, aku nak turunkan berat badan sehingga 55 kilogram! Yer! I have to cut another 5-7 kg! Muahahaha~

Balik cuti 4 hari teramat singkat untuk aku. Sibuk dengan kenduri je memanjang.
Masa kenduri cousin, memang aku paling havoc la kena bantai. Semua orang tak tau kot yang aku baru je 24. DUA PULUH EMPAT! Hahahaha..

Asal aku nak suka kat lelaki je, mesti tau diaorang dah ada makwe. Frust la macam ni!
Hahhhaahha~

So, lepas 1 Feb harap-harap ada lelaki yang berani approach aku eh? Muahaha~

Yang pasti hari ni keje petang :P

Grade

Untuk pertama kalinya aku dapat markah yang cukup-cukup makan. Secara jujurnya aku memang kecewa. Kecewa yang teramat sangat. For almost 24 years of my life, i just 4% exceed the passing mark! It's suck man!

AKu nangis lepas dapat result. Satu kelas gelabah tengok aku nangis.

Aku?

Dengan selamber keluar pegi toilet. Buat macam tak de apa-apa yang berlaku. Aku tau, mesti dalam kepala masing-masing aku kena resit rest.

Hampir setengah jam, Shaikh sekat aku kat depan pintu toilet;

S: Camne?
I: Ok je..
S: Resit ke?
I: Tak la..
S: Habis tu apasal nangis?
I: Ntah. Hobi!
S: (Buat muka mak shinchan) Ada gak aku lempang pompuan ni.

Muahahahhaa *devil laugh*

Sorry, guys. It's me! IEMAHRAZAK. i do not know how to hide my feeling. I easily throw my tears. I will cry when i feel sad, touched, stress or even happy!

Sick woman! :P